It’s been almost 17 years since I last stepped foot in a church as someone who truly considered themselves a Christian. But it wasn’t long before I found myself longing for a sense of community again. And I find myself still searching for that. I’ve found good friends along the way (shoutout to my CI folks, haha), but I still yearn for a more organized community. Part of me can’t even believe I’m sayin that. The last time I tried to join a religious organization, I wound up enmeshed in a months long situation where I, and others, were stalked online, were lied to, and were manipulated when we dared to speak out about transphobia. And to make it worse, the initial encounter that sparked the whole thing likely could have been worked through cause it very much seemed to stem from cultural differences rather than a truly bigoted place, yet organizational leadership showed their true colors and displayed some truly vile behavior. And yet here I am, on the precipice of tryin again.
So, back in August, almost a year ago now, I joined ADF, but I”m just now in a place where I can dedicate some time to starting the Dedicant Path. I doubt that this will be the end of a journey for me, but simply a new avenue of exploration. I’m still not convinved the organization is for me, though I’ve certainly ascertained that the local Grove is not and chances are, when I move again in a year, there won’t be a Grove anywhere near me. But I still think it’s worth exploring. I have no idea where this path will lead or if it’s simply a bypass that will rejoin the larger path I’ve been on for more than half my life now. It’s actually weird to think about it in those terms, but that doesn’t change the reality. Tbh, even if I love everything about ADF, as an academic and perpetually curious person, I know that I’ll likely investigate other organizations like OBOD, AODA, etc. It took years to shake the Christian conception that you can only belong to one religious structure at a time, but I’m there now. I guess time will tell what all I find, but I’m excited and ready to see what comes next.